How to navigate challenges at Christmas time

Although a joyous time for many, Christmas comes with its challenges. For every piece of tinsel on the tree there’s a tantrum to be had and the heightened emotion of the festive season can bring sad memories to mind when families have lost someone.

Whatever difficulties your family are navigating, you’re not the only ones finding things tricky. Bitesize Parents' Toolkit has spoken to parents across the country about their experiences and what tips they have to help others get through the festive season.

Financial pressure was a common concern during Christmas for the parents we spoke to. The desire to create a magical experience for children can clash with budget constraints, especially during a cost-of-living crisis.

Natasha shared her experience: “I do feel the pressure sometimes due to my daughter being eight and getting that bit older, the presents are more expensive so I tend to start buying Christmas presents in September to make it easier rather than all at once.”

She wasn't alone in finding it harder as her child got older, with parents telling us that the price of gifts asked for rises as children grow up. Kayleigh for instance said: "I think everyone has pressure at Christmas time as everything is so expensive, I find being a single parent trying to keep on top of bills and buy presents for two teenage boys is so worrying and upsetting not being able to find the money to make sure they have everything they want."

Alex also addressed the pressures of expectation: "As far as the children are concerned, we do not tend to splash out on expensive gifts at Christmas and this can create some level of frustration when comparing to their friends. We desperately try to avoid all of the commercialism around Christmas"

Parents try to start saving early when they can. “I have to try and save all year round, which is very hard to do with everything daily being so expensive,” said Susan, “We cut back wherever we can.” To ease the strain, some parents try to shop around to get a bargain. Angela told us, “Sometimes it's been challenging but I now save up money in a tin each week to better prepare for it. I do a lot of online shopping and look for deals that are on.”

While most of our parents had concerns about the cost - some parents seemed less worried, with Darren sharing: "I personally don't face any pressures as we have a pretty low key easy going Christmas - I haven't noticed my son feeling pressured but I guess he might feel worried that he might not get the gifts that will keep up with his friends."

Five tips for coping as a parent during the cost of living crisis.

How to talk to your child about the cost of living crisis.

Christmas time can be a reminder of loved ones who are no longer with us. Whether it's a recent loss or a cherished memory, many families told us that they find the season bittersweet. Lamar lost his grandparents "a year apart on Christmas Eve" while Tony says, “My wife lost her mom near Christmas time two years ago so she finds it difficult this time of year.”

For some, like Natasha, carrying out a ritual each year can help them deal with their loss, “Losing my grandad two years ago was difficult for us at Christmas as he’s no longer around our table but we all still raise a glass to him and celebrate his memory.” While Angela shares, "[The] Christmas period can be especially difficult without loved ones who have passed on. I light a candle for loved ones we have lost."

For Laura, "Last year was a challenging year and this year will be also, my dad has Alzheimer’s and has been in a care home since feb 2023, last Christmas was a very challenging one for the whole house as we are all so used to him being here Xmas morning for the presents and for lunch. We all missed him being here… [so] we all made the effort to go and spend a few hours with him on Xmas day and this will become a new tradition for us now. I'm very family oriented and not having my dad with us at my favourite time of year is sad but we have a very open relationship with our boys and we all talk it through and whilst there are tears we're all just grateful that we can visit him Xmas day."

How to help your child understand bereavement and support them in their grief.

For separated parents, we heard that Christmas often requires delicate negotiations around time with children. Alternating Christmas Days, managing logistics, and parents having varying budgets for gifts were all challenges mentioned to us.

Andrew explained, “Me and my ex-partner rotate each Christmas Eve, we’re both pretty flexible and accommodating this time of year as it’s more about our son. It is hard though.”

For Megan, “It’s hard to make sure the children have everything they want. I’m a single mum without my children’s dad involved.” She says it can be stressful, but, “I always try my best to make it happen and they haven’t been upset as of yet. They don’t see their dad but they do see their dad's step mom and father, so they always come Xmas morning to give the children presents".

As a single parent, Jerome says: "We navigate our Christmas days by having our son on alternate years. One year I have him on Christmas Day and the following he is with his Mum and so on and so forth. This is how we have always worked it and it works well for us. It can be difficult those years in which I don't have my son on Christmas but we always ensure that after Christmas he goes to the other parent as soon as possible."

Gemma and Gorka: Tag team parenting.

For the families we spoke to with neurodivergent children, Christmas presents unique challenges, such as managing changes in routine, sensory overload, and expectations around gifts.

“My children are autistic - the change in routine can be hard,” said Elaine, “As can the gifting.”

Advice on how to help your autistic child at Christmas with Christine McGuinness.

For Angela, this time of year is great for her children, “Both my girls have sensory issues but calming lights they love and they like their rooms Christmas-like with small trees, lighting, bedding, and décor.”

Lisa, who's son is autistic, shares, "[he] becomes intensely obsessed with reindeers and Christmas music. He listened to Michael Bublé from September and every night he listens to it to fall asleep."

But it isn’t the same for all children. Stacey shared that, “My son is autistic and becomes overwhelmed quite easily. He doesn't enjoy attention so all of us are mindful of that and try to keep attention off him opening presents or eating his dinner until he engages with us. Works wonderfully.”

And for Megan, “My son doesn’t often like loud noises, so we tend to keep things quieter.”

1. Plan ahead: Spread costs and tasks over several months to ease financial pressure.

2. Create meaningful moments: Honour loved ones through special rituals or reflections.

3. Adapt to your needs: Tailor the celebrations to accommodate sensory needs or alternative schedules.

4. Give yourself a break: Remember, there’s no 'perfect' Christmas—do what feels right for your family.

If Christmas isn’t something you enjoy, you’re not the only one. Lamar told us, “I personally don’t enjoy Christmas due to the pressure and it makes me very overwhelmed.”

Remember that even though many of the parents we spoke to had tips, there’s no right or wrong way to do Christmas, as Elaine told us, “From experience - it is your Christmas, do it the way that works best for you and your family - don't feel you need to follow tradition.”

Christmas may come with challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to create new traditions, adapt to changing circumstances, and celebrate the season in ways that work for you. Whether it’s through practical planning, thoughtful gestures, or simply embracing the imperfections, navigating the festive period as a busy parent can still leave room for joy.

Remember, you’re not alone in facing these challenges, and a little support — whether from family, friends, or fellow parents — can go a long way.